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    Collaborating with families

    As an international adviser or teacher, you will have to communicate with the parents, guardians and carers of your students on a regular basis.

    It’s important that you can speak effectively to families and involve them in the decision-making process. However, you’ll also need to make sure that you support and assist the student just as much.

    At times you may find that you need to play a balancing role between students and their families, resolving conflicts and helping them come to shared decisions.

    This guide will help you communicate effectively and confidently, bridge the gap between helping the student and helping the parent, and generate outcomes that work for everyone involved.

    1. 1

      Introduce yourself

      One of the first things you should do as an adviser or counsellor is set out the details of the service you offer to student and parents.

      This will help students and parents understand:

      1. What your goal is as an adviser
      2. What they should turn to you for help for
      3. What you can’t help with
    2. 2

      Discuss communication methods

      Discussing communication channels and frequency of contact is an important step to ensuring that communication is timely, satisfactory and relevant throughout the process.  

      It's important that your child is able to be included in all communications from UCAS, and the higher education providers they're applying to. This'll ensure they have full understanding of their next steps. While parents can be added as a nominated contact the student should always be the primary email address on the account.

      During this discussion, you should talk about:

      • Will communication be via phone, messaging, email, in-person meeting
      • How regularly will contact be scheduled
      • Between what times you will be available for contact
      • How quickly will you respond when contacted, and how quickly will you expect them to respond when contacted
    3. 3

      Establish rules early

      If you have rules for your counselling, introduce these early. This ensures nobody will be surprised by a rule they weren’t aware of and will maximise the chance of your rules being followed.

      You may wish to ask both student and the parents sign an agreement that outlines all your rules. This will evidence that all rules were explained early on and will emphasise that the agreed rules are not flexible.

      For schools, these rules may be around your predicted grade methods or use of external counsellors.

    4. 4

      Explain processes and timelines

      It’s important that students and families are aware of the overall timeline, key deadlines and important processes.

      This will help you obtain important information from them when you need it and make sure that the student does not miss any important deadlines.

      You can refer to and share our parents, guardians, and carer guide with them, which provides key information about higher education and the UCAS application timeline this year. 

    5. 5

      Set boundaries around parental involvement

      While parents should always be included in the process, it’s important that you set your boundaries about parental involvement early.

      This might look like:

      • Holding some meetings or part of a meeting without the parents/family
      • Making it clear that final decisions should be made by the student
      • Giving the student space to speak during meetings
      • Giving the student time to think about important decisions
    6. 6

      Prepare to manage disagreements

      It's common and normal for the wishes of the parents and students to not align during the process. However, disagreements can cause delays, as well as stress for the student, the family and the adviser.

      You should plan a strategy for resolving or managing conflict in advance.

      This might include:

      • Having separate meetings with the student and the parents to understand their concerns
      • Preparing communication tools that will help you manage strong emotions and conflict
      • Reminding students and families of the rules that were previously agreed to
    students in accommodation

    Keep parents informed

    Supplying parents, guardians and carers with all the information they need to support their student is essential. 

    Giving families a way to gather their own information and make decisions will reduce pressure on you, help them feel in control of the process, and reduce the chance of delays or disruption.

    Different parents may prefer different sources or forms of information. 

    You should:

    Key takeaways

    Collaborating with the families of international students will allow you support students to make decisions that work for their aspirations, academic profile, and wider needs. It also allows you to deliver a better experience for the student and their parents or guardians.

    To do this, you should:

    1. Introduce yourself
    2. Discuss communication methods
    3. Establish rules early
    4. Explain processes and timelines
    5. Set boundaries around parental involvement
    6. Keep parents informed
    7. Prepare to manage disagreements 

    Effective collaboration with international student families requires clear communication, structured processes, and careful boundary-setting from the outset. 

    As an adviser or teacher, introduce yourself and your services early, establish communication methods and rules upfront, and ensure all parties understand key timelines and processes. While keeping parents informed through resources like UCAS guides and information sessions, maintain boundaries that allow students to lead their own decision-making process. 

    Be prepared to manage disagreements by having strategies in place to balance family involvement with student autonomy. By following these principles, you'll create a supportive environment that helps students succeed while maintaining positive relationships with their families throughout the international application journey.